August 28, 2013

august 28th, 2013

Wednesday. 

I had three dreams last night. I remember one primary involving a sand dune, a yard sale, and collectable antiques. Also, there was a person, male, that I was hiding from, running away from. I can’t remember why but, not like its anything out of the ordinary. A few nights before I recall a past significant other appearing to me in a dream, the dream took place at night time in a log cabin style home. He showed up because he was dying from some desease and I remember being so angry because it was a desease I had seen coming, a deasease that could have been stopped. I remember him coming closer to me, then laying atop my body, his chest pressing into my chest and his face and neck too close that I pulled out my key chain from my pocket and began stabbing him over and over with a house key. 

The next morning, I became particularly alarmed by this dream but unsure why. Most likely, it is because there is an extremely rare occasion that a dream would involve violence that was acted out by me, the dreamer. I would confess that violent thoughts are not rare occasion in my mind, however they hardly arise in a dream state. 

Interestingly enough, I recall the victim never actually being defeated. Later that day, I was stopped at crosswalk and saw a very near friend of the person on the other side of the street. I turned my head quickly and ran the opposite way into an antique store. I felt shuttered, like I was unable to show my face because of the guilt I bore. Guilt that was not of real guilt. An unworthy feeling began to stick through the following days. I had gone to sleep with a pain in the right side of my lower back that feels to get larger and larger every day. I could associate this pain with a dehydrated, caffeine induced ulcer. 

February 19, 2011
August 27, 2009
August 5, 2009
Glimpse of my new house.

Glimpse of my new house.

June 26, 2009
So much for safe suburban neighborhoods.

So much for safe suburban neighborhoods.

June 24, 2009
Zooey Deschanel and Karen O backstage dancing at a YYYs concert.
Zooey Deschanel and Karen O backstage dancing at a YYYs concert.
June 22, 2009
June 20, 2009